Which is the Most Important Parenting Skill?

Some people believe that parenting skills are born along with a child - if only that were true! The thought that everything that happens to a baby or child will create the adults they become is daunting, and parents often don't realize the extent of parenting skilsl they are going to require.

So what are the skills that parents need? Well, the most obvious skill is to know about the physical needs of your child. Most people get this right, but there are others with no parenting skill at all whose children become malnourished or sick from poor hygiene. If you need information on this there are plenty of organizations, books and websites that can help you.

Secondly, there is the parenting skill of providing the right amount of discipline for your child. Experts are divided on level and degree of discipline - but the key is consistency and agreement between parents. It is also important not to punish your child physically, and to try and make the punishment appropriate to the offence.

For example if your child won't stop playing his video game to do his chores, removal of the game would be a fair punishment and will teach him the relationship between actions and consequences. Setting clear boundaries for your child and making sure they understand what will happen if they step outside those boundaries is a vital parenting skill.

Thirdly, there is the skill of creating a morally good, complete human being. This is the hardest parenting skill of all because there are less hard facts, less evidence and less right and wrong answers. There are things that the experts agree on, however:

• Showing your child love, approval and respect can give them the basis to do the same.

• Show interest in your child, listen to them, talk to them, and encourage them to share any problems with you. By not listening to a child you are telling them that it is OK to think only of themselves and not care about others.

• Give them behaviour to model. Children copy adults, by showing a good example to your children you are helping them.

• Be aware of what your children are doing. By letting them watch adult movies or play adult games you are saying that those things are OK. Let their activities be age appropriate.

• Spend time as a family. Whatever the make-up of your family, spend some time together, children who spend more time with siblings and parent(s) generally become more family minded themselves.

It doesn't have to be a big chore, family time once or twice a week where everyone does something together is a great start.

All parenting skills are important, and whatever you do with your children, the main things to ask yourself is, "Would I have wanted that to happen to me? Would it have done me good?" The important thing about parenting skill is that if you think you need help, ask for it.

There are many organizations around that are set up purely for that purpose. If you are not happy asking for help then there are books and websites that can give you fantastic advice.

The author is a successful marketing executive in a large consumer good company and a mother of two boys. She has had a rough ride in the past two years and has successfully saved her family from the brink of disaster by working on her parenting style. She has recently built a website [http://www.newparentingstyle.com]http://www.newparentingstyle.com, which touches upon some effective parenting tips that have helped her in her success.

Teen Discipline - When Your Teen Says "I Don't Care"

Do you often wonder how to discipline teenagers so that they respect you and everyone in the family? Do you find yourself thinking that your child just doesn't seem to care, no matter what you do? You give him a consequence and he just shrugs it off? He just doesn't care?

As you know, this can be very frustrating. One possibility is that your child really does care. Maybe he does care that he can't use the computer for the rest of the night. Or maybe he really hates the idea that he can't drive the car on the weekend. He just doesn't show it.

If this is the case, then the consequences you are giving him ARE effective. As long as he respects the consequences you give him, you should not stop. Why doesn't he seem to care? Maybe he's just good at hiding his emotions.

He probably doesn't want you to see that you've won and he has to be disciplined. For whatever the reason, continue with what you are doing because it does improve behavior.

But what if your consequences are really just punishments. This is a frequent problem I've identified in many parents. A consequence should guide the child towards doing the right thing next time. It must have a teaching part to it. It must register in his mind that if he pushes this boundary, then this consequence will happen.

You do this by making sure to connect the consequence with the offense. For example, if your child performs poorly on an exam at school, he must study longer for the next one. Or if you son does not clean his room, then no friends are allowed over. Make sure he is able to connect the dots.

This creates a learning moment that will work to change his behavior.

If there is no learning moment, then really you are just punishing your child. If you take away his car privileges because he talks back, you are not connecting the consequence with the violation of the rule. Don't take away his iPod because he was late for school.

This type of consequence is really just a punishment. And it can cause resentment in your child and even lead to rebellion. Learn to use consequences properly and avoid punishments.

I have produced a free video for parents like you that are dealing with teenagers. It highlights the number one mistake parents make when disciplining their kids. It's available online and the link is available below. Please watch the video to help you avoid the wrong type of parenting.

And of course, maybe you are using consequences properly, and he still doesn't seem to care. There is still the possibility that the consequence you are giving is not appropriate. Maybe he doesn't mind losing his video games because he doesn't use them very much anymore.

Or maybe he doesn't mind staying home from the party because he didn't really want to go.

You are the best judge of your child's reaction. Understand what affects him, what he wants and what he doesn't want. Don't be afraid to change your consequences at any given time to make sure it is the right one.

Check out my video. You'll get a better feel for consequences and make sure you are on the best path to understanding how to discipline teenagers.


Anthony Kane, MD is a physician and international lecturer who has been helping parents of children with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder online since 2003.

Get help with Oppositional Defiant Disorder child behavior help with defiant teens ADHD treatment and ADHD. Check out our Free video that discusses the number one mistakes parent make when when disciplining their kids http://ccparenting.com/discipline?10052

Teenage Parenting - How to Connect With Your Teen

Parenting adolescents is a huge challenge, but with communication, teenage parenting can be made easier for you and your child. One of the hardest things in parenting adolescents is communicating in the right way, and here are some ways that teenage parenting can be made a little less stressful:

Empathy & Reassurance - a successful path to teenage parenting.

Your teen may have difficulty identifying what she's feeling. You probably know when she's a bit upset, tired or irritated. While feelings are natural, you might have to help your teen articulate them. Asking: "Are you a bit upset?" may help you both to identify the type and the extent of her feelings, and to find appropriate responses.

Reassure your teen your love and support does not depend on exam grades. If your teenagers don't get the grades they expected, help them to keep it in perspective - everyone has some setbacks in life, whether it's failing a driving test or an exam. They can always do resits. Reassure them you're behind them 100 percent, and help them to review all the options.

Communication

Teenage parenting requires effective communication skills. There are things you can do to make communication easier:

• Take your cue from your teenager - there's absolutely no point saying you want to talk, when he's rushing to get ready for a night out.

• Try to spend time alone with your teenager and go out somewhere if there aren't any opportunities at home.

• Share information about what's going on in your life, but only for as long as your teen seems interested.

• Use open questions that don't just need a yes or no response. For example, "How did the music lesson go?" rather than "Did you have a good day?"

• Don't use a chat as an opportunity to nag or tell off.

• Never put him down for his views or ideas; he needs your approval.

• Treat your teenager with respect, much as you would another adult.

• It's better to negotiate a solution than enforce your demands, so don't say, "I want your room

cleaned up tonight," but "I'm getting really upset at the state of your room. When do you think

you can tidy it up?"

• Use all the opportunities you can to communicate - for example, driving somewhere often leads to great conversations.

• Show you're genuinely interested when your teenager tells you things and stop what you're doing to listen.

• Don't overreact or fly off the handle if you don't like what you hear.

Teenage parenting is fraught with dealing with difficult issues like, such as bad grades or worries about risky behaviour. It's even more important to find a time when there are no external pressures and you're feeling calm.

Using "I" statements always helps. Say, "I'm worried about the way your school work is slipping," not "You're doing really badly in school." Explain your concerns calmly and listen carefully to his side of the story. It's fine to stress what you believe in and to be clear if there are any aspects of his behaviour you want him to change.

LET THEM GO Policy:

Teenage parenting is is all about you, the parent. Are you ready to let your teen take over this decision that you have been making for him/her? Take some time to think it through. While it won't be all at once, there will be a time when it hits you that you aren't always needed for important decisions, or that you may not agree with the decision your teen made yet the situation worked out fine without you.

This can cause some melancholy feelings - and proud feelings too. Ah, the mix emotions of being a parent! You need to prepare yourself for it. When these thoughts and feelings hit, it is important to remember that you are doing a good job and your teenager is lucky to have you in his/her life.

Verbally spell out the conflict and end with a question: "What do you think you could do?" or "What are your options?" Help your teen list a few that he/she may not think of, but don't do this task for him/her.

Spelling out the pros and cons will help him/her see the big picture of each option, thereby helping him/her choose appropriately. Younger teens often have trouble seeing the big picture, so they may need more help than a 17-year-old. But all teens can use their parents as sounding boards. Be available to listen and help even after your teen has developed good decision-making skills.

Hold your tongue just before you're ready to say, "I think you should..." If your teen is used to you making the decisions and isn't getting around to finalizing his thoughts on the options and choosing one, you may want to ask your teen if he/she is worried about 'being allowed'. Many times at the teen home I would have a teen talk over all of the options and then wait quietly until

I told them what they were allowed to choose. An awkward moment or two would follow and then the teen would realize that I wasn't going to do the choosing and say, "Oh, you want me to choose. I didn't know I was allowed." So, this is simply solved by verbally giving permission.

While you shouldn't act like this is a business meeting, do talk to your teen about what happened, even if the outcome wasn't what was hoped for. Discuss what he/she might do differently the next time and do not be judgmental. Give your teen positive feedback and tell him/her that you are proud that he/she took on this challenging decision. This will help you and your teen work through important decisions in his/her life. This will add to his/her self-confidence and maturity.

It is difficult to remember that our parents had the same problems parenting adolescents as we do today, but they did. If you manage to communicate with your teenager you are doing really well. Try and think about ways you can talk to your teenager - are there activities you can do together?

Think about what you say to them - try and see things through their eyes. Think about how you react - keep calm. Bear these three things in mind and teenage parenting may just get a little less fraught.

The author is a successful marketing executive in a large consumer good company and a mother of two boys. She has had a rough ride in the past two years and has successfully saved her family from the brink of disaster by working on her parenting style. She has recently built a website http://www.newparentingstyle.com, which touches upon some effective parenting tips that have helped her in her success.

Parenting For Teens - 10 Tips to Keep in Touch

Parenting for teens is a topic I think every parent should study before their kids are 1 year old. The foundation for good parenting begins from the moment the little cherub comes home from the hospital. But since that rarely happens here are some tips to keep in touch with your teen when they would rather be in touch with everyone else in their world.

• Try taking your teenager along with you on your Saturday errand run. The car is a great place to talk! Be sure to leave the younger ones at home so you can spend time alone with your teen. Most teens want the feeling of of significance this one on one time creates. Share a coke before you return home.
• If you can make it work schedule wise try driving your teen to school in the morning rather than take the bus. In our house mornings were a stressful time trying to get to school on time until we started preparing for morning the night before. We set the table for breakfast, decided what we would wear the next day and ended the day with a reminder that we would all wake up cheerful the next day. This simple act made mornings much more relaxed and enjoyable for all of us.
• If your teen is bedtime talker make time in your schedule to talk before they go to bed. It's a time to tie up loose ends from the day, share pains and joys. Some of our most amazing conversations about boyfriends or girlfriends happened just before they went to bed. However, that meant we had to give up watching the news or CSI but it was a small price to pay for the relational dividends we got in return.
• Go shopping! My wife and daughter connected during time spent shopping together, much of it window shopping. Sometimes they bought something but most of the time they just wandered through the malls. The conversations they had at those times created connections that still carry on now that she is married and has a family of her own.
• Spend time away with your kids. Once a year my son and I attended a football or hockey game and my wife and daughter spent a weekend at a hotel. It cost us some money but we considered it an investment into our teens. It was great connecting time.
• Share meals together. We established a rule early in their lives that meal times together was one of most important events of the day. Though my schedule was very busy I made it a point to be at home meals and we expected them to arrange their schedule to make that happen as well. Things changed when they got part time jobs but we could still make breakfast family time connecting time. Now that they are both married they still like to come home for Christmas brunch or breakfast.
• Remember that very teen is truly different, as is every parent. The best way for you to find out what's going on in inside your teen is to listen and watch without judgment. This can be a challenge especially when they present you with ideas that are diametrically opposed to what you have teaching them. You'll begin to see the picture coming into focus as you pick up clues about what's going on in the lives of your kids.
• During the teen years, it's the teens' job to pull away and our job to let them. Remember what it was like when you were a teen, trying to pull away from your parents controls. Start giving them more freedom to make decisions and let them face the consequences of their choices. Commend them when they do well but don't rescue them when they fail. This will help to help build trust and respect which are essential for good family connections.
• Try communicating with your teen via email over issues that are hard to discuss in person. An example would be the conflicts that occur in many homes over the issue of keeping their room clean. By taking the time to write you give yourself time and space to think through your responses and reflect upon the reply you get back.
• Lectures are not very effective for improving your connection to your teenager. When it comes to your kids as teenagers, you need to realize that most of what you have to lecture them about they've heard from you before, in earlier lectures. When they show signs of not listening it is best to stop, cut your losses and discuss the matter at another time.

For much more information about parenting your teen read my review on NO-NONSENSE PARENTING FOR TODAY'S TEENAGER - How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. For the review click here.

Is Parenthood is a Punishment?

Do we remember the days before the kids?
Do we remember the romance that filed the air when we and our partner went out had fun and made wonderful things together?

Let's take a moment, close our eyes and try to imagine that...

Now let's come back to the reality!

What do we see now?

Boring routine! We wake up at mornings, prepare our kids to the school, and go to the job for about 10 hours! We come back tired and just waiting for the moment when we will close our eyes and fall a sleep. It sounds horrible but that's the routine of the most of the parents.

I think we don't have to live like that! We are not accused in the court for a miserable life. We, as parents, don't have to live like that!

First, we have to plan our evenings so we could enjoy our time at home. As I mentioned in the previous articles, planning evening activities for the all family will give us a "moral approval" to make something only for us, for the parents.

Second, we have to plan our (parents) activities too. We are already not that young couple that we used to be. We are not as spontaneous as we were. That's why we must plan what we will do when we will free for ourselves. Otherwise, this free time would lost.

Start from planning a week ahead. Think of activities you will do with your kids. Than try to find a babysitter for the Friday and just go out. Enjoy yourself and you would find out how amazing it could be. Even the process of planning the week can be very interesting...

Try it once, and you couldn't stop doing it every week...

Want to learn more? Please visit my site http://www.activity4family.com/?ref=ezin.

Is Managing Children's Behaviour All About Control?

Hm -- a relevant and important question -- is disciplining and managing children's behaviour about control?

A woman walked by my house the other day with a beautiful dog. She was having a lot of trouble getting the dog to walk on the lead -- in fact it sat down and wouldn't move -- it wanted to go back the other way.

The lady pulled at the lead, the dog pulled and slipped its collar then turned to run towards a busy road. Panic... the woman shouted the dog and luckily, although it didn't return to her it sat down, allowing her to put the collar back on. She tried again and failed again. This was getting to be a dangerous situation.

Wrong place, wrong equipment, wrong tactics -- this could be carnage. What did she do? She let the dog have its own way and walked back up the road in the direction the dog wanted to go. It wasn't a very good lesson for the dog. The woman didn't have control and without it the dog wasn't safe.

When I was driving in town recently a woman was at the edge of the road with a pram and two young children, one either side of the pram. One child ran into the middle of the road. Luckily I wasn't going fast and had my wits about me.

I stopped in plenty of time, but I could have been in a dream (who isn't sometimes when you're driving?). Like the incident with the dog, again it could have been disastrous. But what was the mother to do? Leave the other child and pram and go into the road to retrieve the runner?

Push the pram and other child into the road too? Scream? What? Her options were fairly limited and all were fraught with danger... Again the adult didn't have control and this put three children in danger.

Back to the original question -- is managing children's behaviour about control? Yes it is... but, it has to be the right sort of control, used correctly.

Adults shouldn't have an issue with with the implementation of discipline and control when dealing with children's behaviour, but so many people these days seem to have trouble with this concept.

They claim, 'It limits development,' or, 'It doesn't allow for free expression,' or even, 'It inhibits imagination'. Tiny children can be seen wandering alone in dangerous places -- on roads, in shopping centres, in super markets, by water -- with adults close but not close enough to have absolute control if something were happen that needed urgent intervention.

Small chldren used to be physically attached to adults wth reins... you rarely see them today... why is it so shocking to show that you have control? Are we willing to put children into danger rather than take control of their behaviour and actions and do so until they're emotionally mature enough to be increasingly independent?

Tell you what -- that little child would have had its development well and truly limited if my car had hit it, wouldn't it? Free expression and imagination would have come to an instant halt! The panic stricken dog wouldn't have enjoyed any more walks if it had ended up under a car or lorry on the main road, would it? People often say to me that children have changed. No children haven't changed -- but what has changed is adults' attitude towards children.

Part of children growing up is to learn how their world works and this enables them to develop emotionally and socially. Where does children's advice and guidance come from? From adults. Until they learn (are trained) in these important lessons they aren't able to mature and function independently or confidently in society.

Discipline is not a dirty word, it's simply an alternative word for training. Without discipline or training we end up with adolescents behaving like three year olds, unable to show any self control when the world doesn't go they way they would like it to.

My message about controlling children's behaviour and its place in effective discipline and behaviour management is against much of today's philosophy. It's a strong, but quite simple message -- until a child has learned self control, it has to be controlled.

That's it.

But, you have to know how to control and manage children's behaviour in a way that encourages self control, indepenence and confidence. Anyone can learn behaviour management strategies that will achieve this. Behaviour Bible gives you the techniques, practise them and use them consistently and you'll have a happy and productive classroom.

Liz Marsden is a highly experienced and successful behaviour management expert who works with children demonstrating extreme behaviour. At http://www.behaviourbible.com you can learn Liz's strategies and techniques. Follow her daily work at http://www.behaviourbible.com/diary to read more about managing behaviour confidently.

Crazy Parents - Crazy Kids

The vast majority of people raising children are ill equipped for the job. Now, we all know the general comments like "How come they don't teach you about this at school?" or "Why is there no training to be a parent?"

But that's not what I'm talking about. Those of us who are parents know that nothing, but nothing, actually prepares you for the day you bring your first child home from the hospital. But that's not even what I'm talking about - I'm talking about something a lot more fundamental - and something that is ruining the next generations' lives.

Decades of research in the field of psychology prove conclusively that the normal adult is crazy. That statement needs a little explanation!

Research, across of variety of psychological disciplines has proved that normal adults only perceive what they expect to perceive (in other words, they are incapable of perceiving something that they don't expect, even if that something is before their very eyes); normal adults perform all routine, repetitive tasks automatically, without paying them any attention (unfortunately, sooner or later, most things in life become routine and repetitive and, therefore, normal adults wander through their lives automatically); and that the normal adult is incapable of paying attention even to what he or she has decided to pay attention to!

Research indicates that the normal adult only puts 1% of their capacity for attention to active use in the present moment - and that the balance of their attention is either subconsciously focused on the past or vaguely focused on the future. In one sentence - normal people do not control their minds - a sure and certain definition of being crazy.

Now, that would be OK if the normal adult didn't have any impact on anyone else's life! But, we all do - whether it's our family or friends, our colleagues or children. And it's our children who are being most damaged by the automatic mindless behaviour that is the norm.

Children don't become normal crazy adults by accident - there is a physiological process, by which the child's brain activity changes on a continuum from around eleven years of age up to the end of adolescence - generally believed to end somewhere between eighteen and twenty five years of age.

Before the age of eleven, a child's mental activity is completely different from that of an adult. Whereas an adult is "not all there" (1% presence isn't exactly an awful lot!), a child is fully focused, fully attentive, fully present to the here and now. As such, the child's mind is wide open, ready to soak up all that is going on around it, sponge-like.

In the child's early years, its subconscious mind will be most impressed by those who are most impressive - generally speaking, the child's parents. The way parents behave will, because of the child's sponge-like open-mindedness, be the major influence on creating the child's self-image.

But, hold on a minute! After the novelty (or panic!) of the new arrival has worn off, after having a child has become routine, after many repetitive nights of feeding, crying and lack of sleep, won't the parents begin to care for, relate to and, actually, raise that child automatically, without giving any real and present care, any focused attention to what they're doing?

If all the psychological research is right, then, as life becomes routine and repetitive, the normal parent, being only 1% present, is doing and saying God knows what to his or her child. The little snide throw-away remarks that a parent will never remember will be etched on the child's subconscious - remember, the child is paying full attention.

The point I'm making is that normal adults are simply raising their children to follow in their footsteps and be normal crazy adults too, to repeat and repeat and repeat the normal not-too-bad norms of the normal life. What parent wants their child to make the same or similar mistakes to them? What parent wants their child to have a more successful, happy and carefree life than them? What parent wouldn't leap at the opportunity for their children to be extra-ordinary?

Isn't it time you did something about it? Isn't it time you awoke from your deadly slumber - the mindless, automatic, repetitive, careless state of mind that is the adult norm? Isn't it time that you stopped sentencing your children to the same life sentence that you're serving?

It's time to wake up - preferably before your children reach that watershed of eleven years of age. But, even if they're long past that age, it's never too late the explain to your children that they don't need to take on the negative mantle fashioned for them by the sad and pathetic normal minds which they encounter or encountered during their formative years.

As a parent, how do you wake up? How do you become more attentive to the present moment - the moments that are shaping your children's future? You simply re-learn your childhood ability to pay absolute attention to the present moment.

Your very young children experience everything new by using all of their five senses - you must re-learn how to do the same. You must deliberately set time aside - maybe only ten minutes each day - to see, feel, hear, smell and taste the present moment. You know the old expression that we need to stop and smell the roses? Well, we better do that before we've ruined someone else's life.

Willie Horton's acclaimed two-day personal development seminars have been running for thirteen years. He teaches that a clear and present state of mind creates extra-ordinary personal and business success. His vast expertise is now available in his Online Workshop at Gurdy.Net. His website also offers daily free personal development video seminars, articles and a Free Personal Development Ezine published every Monday morning.

Child Behavior - Why Your Child Behaves Like That and What To Do About It

Whether you are parent,a parent to be or someone who works with children. It is essential that you understand the child/children and their behaviors.

Part of our job as authorities is to teach children manners and socialize them, so they’ll learn how to get along with others. Getting along with others is crucial to happiness in life

Continue Reading

Child Anger - Problems and Solutions

When was the last time you got angry? Was it because of poor service or a moronic driver who pulled right across your path? How did you react? We, as responsible adults know how to manage our anger and channel it into socially acceptable behaviour which does not kill or hurt anyone. But what happens when something snaps and we lose control and so we can wave our fists, shout, insult or take legal action!

Looking at child anger, the situation is pretty much the same except that the child has not yet learned how to channel his anger and so we get outbursts, violence, defiant behaviour and we, as parents, think we have completely failed.

Look at what is happening nationwide. There is an epidemic of child anger and it starts in the kindergarten. One child psychologist has remarked that he is shocked at the level of aggressiveness in children which was not the case before. Anger turning to rage in school shootings is all too common and frightening. Even among first graders, the number of kids involved in punch ups and cursing is increasing all the time.

So, we have a problem with child anger. We do not seem to realize that child anger is perfectly normal but we were brought up to suppress our angry emotions and above all in the Christian ethos to control it for obvious social and practical reasons. Jesus got angry too but I do not think he was a problem child!

What makes a kid mad ? We should try and find out and then we might start to understand what is going on. Usually anger is a result of frustration building up and is a reaction (perfectly normal in the child's view) to that. Maybe the child is embarrassed, lonely, hungry, or just in pain. They instinctively know that they cannot do anything about these things and their instinct tells them that anger is the only way they know of expressing all that frustration.

What's the solution? Experts tell us that family therapy is an essential tool in helping parents to deal with child anger and help their kids to manage it safely and effectively without things blowing up in their faces. Here are some solutions you can learn with dealing with anger and channeling it into more productive and safer outcomes. You can try talking about anger with the child, how he felt, why he felt like that and what he should do the next time. There are many ways of solving child anger and you can learn about some more of them in a behaviour modification course.

Want to learn how I dealt with child anger? Smart parenting is the key to successful ADHD treatment and the problem child. Sign up for FREE Parenting tips on child behavior problems

Robert Locke is a Health enthusiast who specializes in Children's Health. He has written extensively on ADHD and Behavior Therapy.

Single Parenting: Three Important Tips

Single Parenting ... ... is challenging, but you can function as both mom and dad. I say this not to devalue the importance of a child having two adults in his life, but to inspire those who are alone. There are many examples of fine men and women who have been raised by mom or dad. In this article, we will explore the effects of this and offer some important tips.

Possible Effects:

When we talk about single parenting, we can't assume that these are children of divorce. Some parents have never been married. Others have survived the death of their loved one. These parents are impacted by the same issues faced by divorced parents: isolation, lack of support, financial struggles and emotional overwhelm. When an adult is constantly stressed, the child absorbs and mirrors these feeling states. Tips: Get Support. You need to have friends, relatives or a support group that can help you manage your stress. Remember, your child reflects your feelings. If you are not relaxed, your child cannot be either. If there is no support group in your area, start your own. Get together to talk about your experiences. Offer to watch each others' children to get some time on your own or take care of things that you can't do with your child. It is important to have some alone time, away from your child and job, so that you can unwind and regroup. Find a Mentor. In a perfect world, adults would work together to help each other raise their children, providing role models of both genders for every child (and perhaps this is something you can facilitate if you start a group). A role model can be a coach, a teacher, someone from a group or association or someone from your church. Make sure you know who this person is before you let them be around your child. Know that adults who prey upon kids often volunteer their services in order to get next to children. These people will seem normal and will work hard to gain your trust, but in your gut, you will feel that something is not right. Trust yourself and protect your child. Proceed carefully and wisely, but don't underestimate the importance of a mentor of your child's gender. Connection and Communication. Single parenting means working twice as hard to forge strong bonds with your child. Bonding is all about connection, communication and being there as guide and witness during the tough, triumphant and mundane moments of your child's life. Every child needs someone to feel safe with, someone with whom they can let down their guard. In a two parent marriage, one partner may provide support when the other is unavailable for a variety of reasons. As a single parent, you are the sole support. Despite this, connecting and communicating with your child in a positive manner feels good and will energize you in ways that will allow you to meet your child's needs. Engage your child in activities she loves. Be an active participant in your child's growing awareness of the world and what interests her. When you do something with your child, remember that children are process-oriented, while most adults tend to be goal-oriented. In order to truly engage your child, you must allow yourself to become process-oriented when you play with her or engage her interests. This is how a single parent creates a bond that goes beyond meeting the child's physical and emotional needs. Although single parenting can be tough, it is rewarding and fulfilling. If you incorporate these important tips into your life, you are sure to create a healthy, loving relationship with your child. Your child's physical, emotional and spiritual well-being now and in the future depends on this. Laura Ramirez is the author of Keepers of the Children: Native American Wisdom and Parenting This award-winning book combines ancient native ideas (such as child stewardship) with child development to show parents (of any creed or color) how to raise children to develop their natural strengths and lead uniquely purposeful and fulfilling lives. It is an excellent resource for single parents.

Parenting a Rebellious Teen - One Essential Ingredient

If you are the parent of a teenager, I am sure your patience has been tested more than once. In addition, if you are the parent of a rebellious teen, your job is probably even more trying. So what can you do as a parent, to really help a difficult teen? I think the most important quality you can have is to be unrelenting. Do not ever give up on them, on helping them, standing by them, or on parenting them. If you do, who else will they have?

As parents, our job is to love our children unconditionally as we guide them through childhood and into adulthood. No matter how much they test us, fight us, argue with, ignore us or rebel, we must be persistent as parents. There will always be those difficult days...the days when we are exhausted, frustrated, disappointed and overwhelmed, but every day ends and a new one follows. Keep that in mind. Time is not infinite. There is always an end. Be unrelenting.

So how can you be relentless as a parent? A few things that come to mind are to stay active and involved in their life, pursue them and show attentiveness in what interests them. Attend any events they may have, or accept and participate in any of their leisurely activities that you can. For instance, if you have a child who likes to ride skateboards, go and watch them at the skate park, get to know their friends, maybe attend a professional event with them, like the Dew Tour. Whatever it is they are currently passionate about, get interested in too. Also, be sure to let your teen know that you will always be there for them and that you are always available to listen.

Another part of being relentless is choosing to never give up. No matter how hard a situation gets, be willing to learn more, to seek answers, to find the help you need. Nobody is born knowing all there is to being a parent. Therefore, learning is going to be a part of the process. It is imperative that you remain willing to continue reaching out, to keep trying, and to keep learning. It is then, that you will remain close to your child, even through those rebellious teenage years.

Tina is a happily married WAHM of 4 boys, a freelance writer and advocate for families and parents. She enjoys seeing stressed out parents and broken relationships put back together. Family life is great, and if things are difficult and unhappy at home, then you must find the help you need to restore things once again. Your family can be happy, but it may take some work to get there.

If you found her tips useful and want to read more in depth material about helping your out of control child or teenager then visit her here at:
Out of Control Teenager or at Parenting A Difficult Child

How to Parent Difficult Children Ages 12-14

When you go through childhood, you will be dealing with a wide range of emotions and experiences. What it childhood about? It's about playing with friends, walking around the parks, riding bicycles and jut having a really good time. Childhood is about experiencing the simple joys that life throws at you everyday.

Childhood is the time where children observe the things around them. Through this article, we are going to specifically take a look at children with behavioral problems from the ages of twelve to fourteen.
Take note that the ages twelve to fourteen are the ages that parents need to handle with not only care, but love as well. In fact, any person around the child, including other family members and teachers should handle the child with care.

Not every child out there has a perfect childhood. There are many things that can cause them to become a difficult child. Even being exposed to difficult language and behavior can shape a difficult child. During this time, we understand that dealing with them is not easy for parents, teachers or other family members. This process will involve a lot of patience.

Are you a parent that is dealing with a difficult child? If so, then you first need to stop thinking of that child as being a difficult child. Patience is a virtue and there is no denying this. With parenting, you are definitely need to have patience. Feel free to sit down and speak with your child, find out what is on the child's mind. You may also want to speak with the teachers. As a parent, you should get down to the route of that problem. When you find that your child has abnormal behavioral symptoms, then it is find to go to a therapist or a doctor.

Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child's out-of-control and defiant behavior without using punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards? To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com. To Download My New Ebook- "Unleash The Parental Leader Within!" Unleash The Parental Leader Within!

Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, Bi-polar, and SEVERE emotional/behavioral issues.

Novel H1N1 Flu (Swine Flu) and Feeding your Baby: What Parents Should Know

Source: C . D .C

What is this new flu virus?

This novel H1N1 flu virus (sometimes called “swine flu”) was first detected in people in April 2009 in the United States. This virus is spreading from person-to-person, probably in much the same way that regular seasonal influenza viruses spread.

What can I do to protect my baby?

Take everyday precautions . In addition, take extra care to wash your hands often with soap and not to cough or sneeze in the baby’s face while feeding your baby, or any other time you and your baby are close. If you are ill, or coughing and sneezing, consider wearing a mask.

Does breastfeeding protect babies from this new flu virus?

There are many ways that breastfeeding and breast milk protect babies’ health. Since this is a new virus, we don’t know yet about protection specific against it. Mothers pass on protective antibodies to their baby during breastfeeding. Antibodies are a type of protein made by the immune system in the body. Antibodies help fight off infection.

Flu can be very serious in young babies. Babies who are not breastfed get sick from infections like the flu more often and more severely than babies who are breastfed.

Should I stop breastfeeding my baby if I think I have come in contact with the flu?

No. Because mothers make antibodies to fight diseases they come in contact with, their milk is custom-made to fight the diseases their babies are exposed to as well. This is really important in young babies when their immune system is still developing. Breastfeeding also helps the baby to develop his own ability to fight off diseases.

Is it ok to breastfeed my baby if I am sick?

Yes. This is really important.

• Do not stop breastfeeding if you are ill. Ideally babies less than about 6 months of age should get their feedings from breast milk. Breastfeed early and often. Limit formula feeds as much as possible. This will help protect your baby from infection.
• If you are too sick to breastfeed, pump and have someone give the expressed milk to your baby.

If my baby is sick, is it okay to breastfeed?

Yes. One of the best things you can do for your sick baby is keep breastfeeding.

• Do not stop breastfeeding if your baby is ill. Give your baby many chances to breastfeed throughout the illness. Babies who are sick need more fluids than when they are well. The fluid babies get from breast milk is better than anything else, even better than water, juice, or Pedialyte® because it also helps protect your baby’s immune system.
• If your baby is too sick to breastfeed, he or she can drink your milk from a cup, bottle, syringe, or eye-dropper.
• If no expressed milk is available, you can give your baby milk donated by other mothers to a HMBANA-certified milk bank.

Is it okay to take medicine to treat or prevent novel H1N1 flu while breastfeeding?

Yes. Mothers who are breastfeeding should continue to nurse their babies while being treated for the flu.

Please check back to the CDC H1N1 website often for the most recent updates.

How To Effectively Deal With Aggression In Children

There will always come a time when parents will encounter challenges in raising a child. A child may go through a phase when he may have difficulty coping with certain things. A young child may respond with anger or aggressive acts if he feels sad, frustrated, tired, hungry or even sleepy. While adults don’t normally do this, a child may manifest aggression as a means of coping with the stress that he is feeling. Children may show aggressive acts like hitting, kicking, yelling, or even behavior that can destroy things.

For parents, this type of behavior can naturally catch them off guard. Since parents may find it difficult to understand why a child can resort to aggressive acts, it may then be good to begin by recognizing that anger is a common emotion. To add to that, there are times when anger can also be healthy, especially when it is properly expressed.

In trying to manage your child’s aggression, you should first determine whether there are factors causing it in your home. Is there anyone in the family acting the same way? Is your family currently going through a difficult situation? Even though kids may still be engrossed in a world of play, they can easily pick up the emotions from their environment or from the people they care about. By knowing what’s causing his aggressive behavior, you can also take steps to prevent it from occurring.

It may also be good to determine any triggering factors causing the aggression. Find out whether his angry outbursts occur before a meal, or when it’s almost time for a nap. Is the aggression triggered by a sudden change in his routine? Getting to know the root of the problem can help you better deal with his aggressive behavior.

If you can identify your child’s aggression triggers, you can work on perhaps modifying his schedule to reduce frustration, or to better plan out his schedule to prevent over fatigue. Some children also need to feel in control over their situation, and it may help if you can provide choices

Since a child who resorts to aggression does not really know how to deal with certain emotions, parents should teach him how to appropriately express his feelings. Let your child know that it is normal to feel upset at times, but help him understand that there are certain limits that needs to be followed.

If your child becomes aggressive, try to deal with it as calmly as you could. If you can’t control your own temper, then you are not being a good role model to your child. Instead, acknowledge your child’s emotion and guide him on how he can express what he feels. Talk to your child why he is acting in such a way, and let him know that there are certain limits that should be followed. You can then encourage your child to come up with ideas, on how he can go about his problem. For children younger than three years old, parents may still have to help them solve their problem.

If your child is not being reasonable and continues with the aggressive behavior, it may be necessary to take your child out of a particular situation. You may utilize a time-out, and point out that it has to be done so he can cool off, and not as a punishment for his inappropriate behavior. You may also make use of dolls or puppets as a technique to explore your child’s feelings.

After the incident, it is important that you discuss with your child on how he can act differently, should a similar incident occur again. Apart from guiding your child’s inappropriate behavior, it is also essential that parents acknowledge a child’s positive behavior. Praise your child every time he behaves properly, and be very specific with the details of his positive behavior. Positive reinforcement can be a powerful tool in encouraging your child to keep on doing appropriate behavior.

It can be difficult for parents to look through the aggression, in order to effectively deal with a child. However, a child who resorts to aggression under certain circumstances needs the help of his parents. Like most things, it may take some time before your child can effectively deal with negative emotions, but with your love and guidance surely you can both surpass this challenging stage.

Written by Jane Heiza
http://www.gagazine.com/author/Jane Heiza

Parenting Teenagers - Five Most Common Mistakes Parents Make

By Stephen R. Beck

I have three teenagers and I have made all these mistakes. My eldest daughter does not want to tell me where she goes. I have to call her cell phone and drive around like a detective to figure out where she might have been. It was like a nightmare. I cannot get my son to stop playing computer even when his O-level examination is less than two months' away. My relationship and communication is thrown out of the window.

These are the mistakes I made. Listening to other parents with teenagers I realised these are the most common mistakes many parents with teenagers made. I learnt the hard way.

The Five Most Common Mistakes in Parenting Teenagers:

Mistake No. 1 - You don't listen to your teenagers - I know it sounds silly, but many parents talk to their teenagers but they don't listen to them. Either they are too busy and in a hurry or they don't make time to listen.

Solution: Listen to your teenagers, make time just to listen to them, put your newspaper down or stop what you are doing. Putting aside time for them becomes a habit and each time they have something to share with you, they know you are willing to listen. They may just want someone to listen and not necessary want a solution.

Mistake No. 2 - Busy Parents -If you find yourself completing what your teenagers say because you assume you know what your teenagers want to say. They will feel that you are making a lot of assumptions. Hurried parents will experience hurried teenagers. Your teenagers will not feel listened to. They will end up bottling their feelings. You may not realised that you are raising angry children.

Solution: Let your teenagers complete their sentences. Become aware of whether you are thinking of giving them solutions or listening to them completely. When they feel listened to, they get the feeling that they are important to you. They feel respected.

Mistake No. 3 - Using the word 'Should' - 'Should' is a word that makes your teenagers feel that they have to do things that you like and may not be what they like. The obedient ones may end up doing it to please you. You may get obedient children but frustrated later in life, if that is not what they really want in their lives. Frustrated teenagers become angry adults.

Mistake No. 4 - Protective Parents - If you find yourself cushioning your teenagers every move to protect them from being hurt, they learn fear. Fear stops them from making a choice to step up and make decisions.

Solution: Provide options - Allow your teenagers to make decisions. Talk to them about the various options and explain to them the possible consequences or outcome. They learn the way to make decisions in the future.

Mistake No. 5 - Criticising your Teenagers - That could also mean you don't respect them and that could escalate into feelings that you don't trust them. When they don't feel trusted, they lose confidence in themselves. They may end up avoiding you.

Solution: Catch them doing things right and acknowledge them. What you focus expand. They feel respected, appreciated and will tend to behave even better to get more of your acknowledgments.

If you liked these solutions you will love my E-Book "Teenager Parenting 101" visit http://www.parentingwithdolly.com

Dolly Yeo is the chief coach and founder of Mindset Coaching that specialises in life coaching. She is a Results Certified Coach (Australia) and a member of the International Coach Federation, Singapore.

She is also an Active Parenting Certified Leader as well as a Certified Parent Facilitator for Parenting Workshops. You can find out more about Dolly Yeo and Mindset Coaching at http://www.mindset-coaching.com or to subscribe to her free newsletters.

Kids Behavior - The Good the Bad and the Ugly

By Robert William Locke

Let's start with the ugly and uglier than this, you cannot get. The Government Accountability Office has revealed in a shocking report that hundreds of kids are abused every year at school. Some have even been died as a result of this punishment. It seems that special needs kids (severe ADHD and or autism) are more at risk and there have been reports of kids being locked up for hours without food. All this because they have severe behavior problems. But what sort of kids behaviour can justify this sort of cruel punishment.? Worse, there is no federal law on restraint and seclusion and state laws are a mixed bag and up to 19 states have no law at all in this regard.

Now for the bad and that is that the teachers in question are still teaching, maybe in another state. Moral of the story is that while these kids can disrupt a class and have to be dealt with, training needs to be given to teachers by qualified personnel so that they can handle it. Everyone knows (but not some teachers!) that rewarding good behaviors is the way to go and that bad behavior can be reduced. All the experts now say that behavior modification like this in both the classroom and at home is what gets results. Period. Although restraint is sometimes necessary to avoid other children getting hurt,locking up kids will not solve kids behavior problems.

What is the good that can come out of all this? If you have a kid who is ADHD or ODD or just has behavior problems, you will need to liaise with the teacher. There are thousands of dedicated, qualified teachers who do not use the above methods, thank goodness.

Ask her what behaviors are forbidden and what kind of good behavior is encouraged and what rewards systems are in place. You could also check to make sure that any disruptive behavior is not rewarded by sending the kid out which in many cases suits the kid as he hates the classroom so in a way, this is rewarding bad behavior! If the teacher's behavior plan fits in with your behavior modification program at home , all the better. It will ensure that there are no double standards.

Ask any educator or child health expert and all are now agreed that behavioral therapy is the best and most permanent way of solving kids behavior problems. If you have a system in place in your home, you will be well on the way to solving this problem and can look forward to a much happier and more serene family life.

Want to learn how to cope with kids behavior? Discover a whole new world in a behavior modification course.
Robert Locke is a Health enthusiast who specializes in Children's Health. He has written extensively on ADHD and Behavior Therapy.

H1N1 Flu (Swine Flu): Information for Concerned Parents and Caregivers

What is H1N1 Flu?

H1N1 is a type of influenza (flu) virus that causes respiratory disease that can spread between people. Most people infected with this virus in the United States have had mild disease, but some have had more severe illness, and there has been at least one death. Young children, pregnant women, and people with chronic diseases like asthma, diabetes, or heart disease may be at higher risk for complications from this infection. More information about who may be at higher risk will be available when more is known about the disease. There are steps you can take to protect your family and to know when to seek medical care.

What are the symptoms?
In most children, the symptoms of H1N1 flu are similar to the symptoms of regular flu. They include:

• Fever
• Cough
• Sore throat
• Body aches
• Headache
• Chills and fatigue
• Occasionally, vomiting and diarrhea

Young children may not have typical symptoms, but may have difficulty breathing and low activity. Little is known about how H1N1 may affect children. However, we think the infection may be similar to other flu infections. Typically, flu infections cause mild disease in children, but children under 5 years old are more likely to have serious illness than older children. Although rare, severe respiratory illness (pneumonia) and deaths have been reported with flu infections in children. Flu infections tend to be more severe in children with chronic medical conditions.

How to keep from getting it:
Flu viruses spread from person to person mainly through the coughing or sneezing of a sick person. Flu virus may also be spread when a person touches something that is contaminated with the virus and then touches his or her eyes, nose, or mouth. We think H1N1 flu spreads the same way as other flu viruses. Right now, there is no vaccine to protect against H1N1 flu, but there are everyday actions that can help prevent the spread of germs that cause respiratory illnesses like H1N1 flu:

• Teach your children to wash their hands frequently with soap and water for 20 seconds. Be sure to set a good example by doing this yourself.
• Teach your children to cough and sneeze into a tissue or into the inside of their elbow. Be sure to set a good example by doing this yourself.
• Teach your children to stay at least six feet away from people who are sick.
• Children who are sick should stay home from school and daycare and stay away from other people until they are better.
• In communities where H1N1 flu has occurred, stay away from shopping malls, movie theaters, or other places where there are large groups of people.

What to do if your child is sick:

• Unless they need medical attention, keep children who are sick at home. Don’t send them to school or daycare.
• Have them drink a lot of liquid (juice, water, Pedialyte ®).
• Keep the sick child comfortable. Rest is important.
• For fever, sore throat, and muscle aches, you can use fever-reducing medicines that your doctor recommends based on your child’s age. Do not use aspirin with children or teenagers; it can cause Reye’s syndrome, a life-threatening illness.
• If someone in your home is sick, keep him or her away from those who are not sick.
• Keep tissues close to the sick person and have a trash bag within reach for disposing used tissues.

If your child comes in contact with someone with H1N1 flu, ask your doctor if he or she should receive antiviral medicines to prevent getting sick from H1N1 Flu.

If your child experiences any of the following warning signs, seek emergency medical care:

• Fast breathing or trouble breathing
• Bluish or gray skin color
• Not drinking enough fluids
• Not waking up or not interacting
• Being so irritable that he or she does not want to be held
• Not urinating or no tears when crying
• Their symptoms improve but then return with fever and worse cough

For more information call 1-800-CDC INFO, or go to http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1

Easy Ways to Get Your Child to Behave -- and Want To

By Marianne Neifert

On any given day you've probably had two or three showdowns with your child over everything from brushing her teeth to getting in the car seat -- all before lunch. But contrary to how things may seem, most kids like to behave in a manner that makes them (and you) proud -- at least most of the time. The best way to get there: Help your child feel as if you and she are on the same team. These six strategies show you how.

Build stronger bonds

If you want your child to be more cooperative, change your focus from improving him to improving your relationship. When you dwell on the ways he's misbehaving, it just discourages both of you -- you feel like a bad mom, and he feels as if he can't do anything right. Besides, all that energy you're using to correct him could be channeled into something more uplifting and effective. So try to give him positive feedback several times a day -- a specific compliment on something you see him doing ("You're choosing such great colors to draw your picture," or "I really like the gentle way you played with your baby sister"). And don't forget to spend some time with your child each day, doing something he enjoys.

Be a booster

After having fed, diapered, dressed, and done just about everything for your baby, it's hard to step back when she's older and let her do things herself (especially when you're in a rush). But micromanaging her life -- from telling her exactly what to wear to opening her juice boxes -- just sends the message that you're not confident about her abilities. So whenever you can, let her accomplish as many small tasks as possible.

And as much as you'd like to help, it's better for her to resolve some squabbles with her playmates or siblings on her own. You can encourage her to do this with a couple of simple sentences that state the problem and provide a resolution: "I understand you're angry, and I know you can use your words instead of screaming at your friend."

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Marianne Neifert, M.D., is the author of Dr. Mom's Prescription for Preschoolers.

The Single Parent Father

Whenever we are together as a married couple, we never expect it to end in the two of us splitting up. This can be especially difficult if there are children involved. Single parents are becoming more and more the norm in our society and even though many people only really think about the single mothers, thinking about the single parent father is also very important.

If you find yourself in a situation where you are raising a child as a father on your own, there are some things that you can do to help you along the way. These can be especially helpful if you feel that you are ill equipped to take on the responsibility but want to do the best job that you possibly can.

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Boys vs. Girls: Who's Harder to Raise;Can we finally answer the great parenting debate over which sex is more challenging to raise?

By Paula Spencer

I often say that I spend more time and energy on my one boy than on my three girls. Other mothers of boys are quick to say the same. Forget that old poem about snips and snails and puppy dog tails, says Sharon O'Donnell, a mom of three boys and the author of House of Testosterone. "Somehow it's been changed to boys being made of 'fights, farts, and video games,' and sometimes I'm not sure how much more I can take!"

Not so fast, say moms of girls, who point out that they have to contend with fussier fashion sense, more prickly social navigations, and a far greater capacity to hold a grudge. And as a daughter grows, a parent's concerns range from body image to math bias.

Stereotyping, or large kernels of truth? "I think parents use 'which is harder?' as an expression of whatever our frustration is at the moment," says family therapist Michael Gurian, author of Nurture the Nature. "Boys and girls are each harder in different ways."

Every child is an individual, of course. His or her innate personality helps shape how life unfolds. Environment (including us, the nurturers) plays a role, too: "There are differences in how we handle boys and girls right from birth," says David Stein, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Virginia State University in Petersburg. "We tend to talk more softly to girls and throw boys in the air."

But it's also true that each gender's brain, and growth, unfolds at a different rate, influencing behavior. Leonard Sax, M.D., author of Boys Adrift, believes parents raise girls and boys differently because girls and boys are so different from birth -- their brains aren't wired the same way.

So, can we finally answer the great parenting debate over which sex is more challenging to raise? Much depends on what you're looking at, and when:

Clever Solutions for Bad Habits

By Charlotte Latvala

At age 4, my son A.J. was completely potty trained. Not that he went to the bathroom willingly, however. He would dance, shuffle, cross his legs, and wait until the last possible second. One Saturday afternoon, we were getting ready to run errands and A.J. was in full procrastination mode, bobbing up and down like a mad cork. I launched into my usual "Time to go to the potty, honey" speech, with no success. Then my husband looked A.J. straight in the eye and said, "I'll give you a dollar if you go to the bathroom right now." A.J. stopped cold. He eyeballed Tony to see if he was for real. My husband started to draw a crisp bill out of his pocket, and A.J. took off.

I was appalled. "You're going to teach him to expect money every time he pees," I said. "Do you know what sort of precedent you're setting here?" Tony just shrugged and said, "Let's see what happens." What happened was this: That dollar was the best money we ever spent. From that day on, A.J. had a new attitude about the bathroom: Why avoid it? You never know what fun you might have! I'm not actually sure I'd use the same tactic again, but I did learn this: Sometimes the ever-evolving process of parenting requires us to toss out the handbook and get creative. Experiment -- sometimes it really pays off!

Mealtime mayhem

Kemi Chavez used to get frustrated when her toddler, Olivia, refused to try healthy foods. "She wouldn't eat broccoli, peaches, beef, or anything with an unusual smell," says Chavez. The Denver mom happened on her solution almost by chance. "One day I just gave up and let her pick her food from my plate. It seemed ridiculous, but it worked." So Olivia was "served" every meal from Mom's plate for months and became a much more adventurous eater. "She even likes Thai food now," says Chavez.

In the preschool years, the dinner table can turn into an absolute war zone -- unnecessarily so. I used to fight epic battles with A.J. about our "no sugary cereal" rule. He had sampled Lucky Charms and Froot Loops at various social events and relentlessly pestered me for them at the grocery store. Finally, I gave in and bought him a box, with one caveat: You can eat it, but only as dessert. (With the added vitamins and minerals, I figured the cereal would be healthier than candy.) In a similar burst of "Why not?" thinking, a friend of mine enticed her preschool-age twins to eat brussels sprouts by bringing the hamster cage over to the table and feeding the vegetable to the furry creature. Fascinated, the kids decided to try what their pet was eating. (It turns out that one of them, now 10, is still a brussels sprouts fan.)

Too many dinnertime rules can also lead to frustration for everyone, and some loosening up rarely hurts. (Face it: Your kids probably won't be dining at a White House state dinner anytime soon, so if their eating habits are a bit eccentric, so be it.) Tammy Burk of Charlottesville, Virginia, got tired of telling her children to sit properly in their seats during dinner. "I made a new rule," she says. "If they don't want to sit down, that's okay. But they have to stand at the table and eat instead of running around." Likewise, Abby Carr of New York City grew increasingly frustrated with her 3-year-old's demands at the table. "Stephen used to bark out orders like 'More juice!'" she says. "So we told him we'd listen only if he used good manners and spoke in a French accent. Now he says, 'Sir, may I puh-leeze have more joooce?'"

Source: Clever Solutions for Bad Habits

Why are some children very stubborn?

You said:why are some children very stubborn?

"..but a adults charactor is built from personal experiance,
enviroment but a child has just come into the world"

Children do not come into the world as blank slates. This we know.
They come equipped with a large part of their personality tendencies.
Preferences for compliance, independence, extroversion or
introversion, and many other behavioral traits are present in infants
from birth.

The term "stubborn" is a term applied to other people when they do not
do as we wish. A better term is independent. See the child through
these eyes, and you'll be encouraged by his/her behavior, rather than
frustrated or angered by it.

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Best of luck --

Stubborn Kids: Bring out their best -- and handle their worst

By Lisa Oppenheimer

From her earliest breaths, my daughter Alexis was a force to be reckoned with. As an infant, she shooed away the cereal spoon; as a toddler, she rebounded from her bed all night long. When she was in preschool, her teachers would tell us that her strong will made her a natural leader.

Stubbornness also often comes with a steadfast ability to focus, and that can boost learning.

We thought of her more as a little dictator. Alexis had figured out the great secret of life: Nobody can force you to do anything you absolutely don't want to do.

Watching her unapologetically go after what she wanted always left me half mortified, half secretly impressed. My eagerness to please has sometimes made me cave when I shouldn't. Yup, that's me, serial yes-woman for every party sales rep who needs a patsy -- er, hostess. But Alexis can stand up for herself, a trait that will serve her well all through life.

Still, raising stubborn kids is tricky. It's up to you to show them they don't rule the world -- without teaching them to be wimps.

Bullheaded by nature?

Some kids seem to be born willful. Alexis certainly was: From Day One, she'd scream her little head off unless we toted her around in a baby carrier. Such resolve often doesn't soften, either. As demanding babies morph into toddlers, the "You can't make me!" factor surfaces. Of course, most kids this age are hardheaded. But what sets the genetically inflexible apart is the ferocity and persistence with which they do battle. Parenting.com: What a personality!

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5 Simple Parenting Tricks That Will Save From Going Mad

Its no new thing seeing a mother with two kids in tow and one sitting in the front of the grocery cart. The two are running down the aisles, grabbing things, all the wrong things - sugary cereals, chocolate bars, potato chips... The cart is overflowing. Mom is yelling things like, "put that back" and "no, you can't have that today" and "please stop running" and finally, "Get over here now!"

If you are like me, a few things cross your mind or memory. You feel a twinge of pain and sympathy when you see her and want to run over and help.

Your are somewhat irritated and can't help wondering why she doesn't leave the kids home when she shops? and lastly, If you are feeling particularly smug, or your children are past the age of no restraint, you may have a moment of memory loss and be saying to yourself, my kids were NEVER like that. I wouldn't bet on it.

So what do you do when you have to take the kids with you on errands and particularly errands that spell danger for you and your kids. It's really pretty simple:

1. Plan it out first - Have a plan for the errands that you have to do regularly. Figure out what you need and the best times for you to do them. Most likely late afternoon when both you and your kids are spent is not the time.

2. Make your grocery stops short -If you have to go twice, do it. Figure out the items you need beforehand so you aren't taking the kids down aisle after aisle looking for things. This is a surefire way to engage yourself in a nightmare.

3. Have a kid's day at the grocery store - Take them to the grocery store and let them choose a few things that they like - they earn that privilege by not acting out during your other errands.

4. Remember to be realistic - Kids have energy and they get bored quickly. It is unrealistic to expect them to have the patience of an adult while you do your errands, especially if they're long and drawn out.

5. Don't make getting all your errands done so important that you can't let them go if your kids are cranky and irritable. You will just put undue stress on yourself and your kids and quite frankly, the errands will take longer to get done.

Although it may seem impossible and believe me, sometimes it really is, if things get out of hand, leave before you have to scream. You may leave without the milk but you will save yourself from a very negative experience.

The Best and Worst Sources For Parenting Advice - The Answers May Surprise You!

By Gareth A Williams

Parenting is a non-stop occupation. You never know when the next question or crisis will arise, so it's a good idea to have some handy resources at the ready.

When we're new parents, the first source we typically call upon is our parents, right? They raised us after all, and we turned out pretty well, didn't we? But when considering the advice you get from your parents, remember that they might not be especially objective. Truth is, you might not be objective about them and their advice either. That, in fact, can make your parents one of the worst potential sources of parenting advice, because both sides are seeing things from what may be a less-than-objective point of view.

Next in line, we typically turn to our best friends and fellow parents, as well as professionals (family doctor, teachers, clergy, etc.). But these may not be the best resources for parenting advice either. Why? Because we may be looking at our relationship with them (especially our best friends) just as we did with our parents. We respect the relationship, or the title in the case of professionals, and, therefore, we may tend to automatically give credence to advice from these sources.

So, instead of automatically seeking and accepting advice from these traditional sources, here's what I suggest doing:

First, when seeking advice on parenting from anyone, examine that person's experience with children as well as with the particular issue on which you're seeking advice.

Next, examine how that person relates to children, interacts with children, communicates with children, and what sort of value system that person has regarding the parenting of children. If it's similar to your own, that's a good foundation.

You might also seek out specialists (therapists, counsellors, etc.) and, if this is the case, you must again apply these same criteria:
- Is the professional/specialist honest, yet tactful with you and your children?
- Is the specialist objective, yet caring?
- Does the specialist have experience as a parent, or with your particular child's issues?

And what about school-related issues? If you take your problem to a teacher or school counsellor, consider that you may be revealing more about your child or your family than you should. While I wouldn't necessarily rule out such discussions or resource professionals, just keep in mind that you don't want to bias a teacher in any way against your.

We all need parenting help and advice at some point. Just remember to do your homework on any source (i.e., consider and weigh the source), and proceed with caution and your own best judgment before leaping to accept any advice.

Gareth Williams has been an expert in the field of parenting for well over 25 years and specializes in providing parents with honest and informative as well as useful tips and tricks on modern day parenting. If you're interested in receiving a complimentary 5 day course that will help solve your main parenting concerns quickly and permanently then please visit: http://www.instantparentsuccess.com/complimentarycourse.htm

7 Parenting Strategies That Can Help Instill Discipline In Your Child

Parents play a key role in making sure that a child knows the distinction between a behavior that is acceptable, and one that is not. Parents are pretty much aware that there is no perfect discipline strategy that can work for all children.

What works for one child may not be effective for another. In order for your discipline strategy to be effective, it may be good to consider your child’s developmental stage.


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Are You Parenting the Right Way?

By Tarley Reed

We, as human beings, love to judge and evaluate everything...absolutely everything, especially ourselves. When looking at how I parent I notice the little voice in my head is constantly evaluating whether I'm doing it right or not.

If you are wondering if you do this, a very fast way to tell is by noticing how much are you judging whether other parents are doing it "right".

We always judge ourselves in the same areas where we are judging others. For example, if you see a screaming child in a store, what is the conversation you are having about them in your head. Is it something like, "Can't they control their child?"(implying they are parenting "wrong") or "What a bad kid, they must be bad parents."(again..they are "wrong") or "That poor mom, boy do I understand."(shows compassion and understanding) The conversation that you have in your head is an indication of the same way you feel about your own parenting.

Here's the thing, there is no right or wrong way to parent. What may work for me, may not work for you. And just because it works for me, does not mean it is the "right way". It just means it is the right way for me.

You want to notice, areas in parenting where you are suffering. It may be around getting your kids to eat, or when they throw temper tantrum in public, or potty training or taking naps. If you are suffering, you have not found the "right way" for you yet. If this is the case, this is where you can do your research to see what has been working for other parents and then implement them.

Once you realize that there is no "right way, there is only my way, your way, her way and his way, none of which is better then the other, there is a freedom that comes with this realization. You can stop judging yourself and others for the way they(or you) have been parenting. This creates freedom.

If you liked what you read, we have 8 other tips on, How To Raise Multiple Young Children Without Stress Or Struggle....No Matter How They Act! You can find them at http://www.ParentsGotKids.com

By the way, the fact that you just read this article should let you know what a fabulous parent you are. You take time to make sure you are doing what is best for your children. Thank you for the difference you make for your kids!!

How to Parent Naturally

By Jenci4,ehow member

Theories abound in the world of parenting. You can find a theory to support any parenting style you want. Parenting naturally focuses on parenting according to a baby's basic needs and the natural resources available to the mother and the baby. Natural parenting considers what is best for the baby, the parents, and the environment.

Step 1:Birth naturally without any drugs. Although painful, this experience is rewarding. During natural birth, the mother knows where her baby is at every moment of his entrance into the world, and she can be present with him from beginning to end. It also gives the baby a healthy beginning, as he will not be affected by having drugs in his system.

Step 2:Breastfeed your baby. Breastfeeding comes naturally to a baby, and it gives your baby all of the right nutrients from birth on. Breastfeeding is also an incredible way for mother and baby to bond. It helps the mother return to her pre-pregnancy weight faster, and it gives your baby natural immunities to sickness.

Step 3:Use cloth diapers. Your baby’s bottom will thank you for the gentle cloth material and the lowered risk of diaper rash while the earth will thank you for not contributing to the millions of non-degradable disposable diapers thrown out every year. Cloth diapering is less expensive than disposables even with a diaper service to wash and dry all of your dirty diapers.

Step 4:Co-sleep with your baby. Co-sleeping allows the parents to get more rest, and it gives the baby love and care that cannot be found in a crib.

Step 5:Comfort your baby when she cries. All babies will cry for various reasons. If she is hungry, wet, hot or cold, soothe her in various ways. Stay close to her to show her your love and intimacy. Rock her or walk with her and speak to her in a gentle voice.

Step 6:Use all natural products on your baby’s skin and clothes. There are many natural baby products available for bath time, for protecting your baby’s skin and for laundry. Look for organic baby wash, baby lotion, diaper cream, baby powder and baby laundry detergent.

Step 7:Use only all natural cleaning products to clean your house. The chemicals in most popular cleaning products are breathed in by you and your baby every time you use them. Natural products will eliminate the dangers associated with these chemicals and will result in a healthier child and a healthier you.

Tips & Warnings

• Co-sleeping does not have to continue for years. Older babies and toddlers can learn to sleep alone without too much difficulty.
• While co-sleeping, remember to keep all the covers off your baby and to only use fitted sheets.
• Do not use pillow-top mattresses while co-sleeping.
• Do not use alcohol or drugs while co-sleeping.

If you are obese, co-sleeping may be dangerous for the baby

How to Prepare to Parent a Foster Child

By eHow Parenting Editor

The preparations for becoming a foster parent are the easiest part of foster parenting. Make sure that before you parent a child, you are prepared for all of the child's needs. You will need to care for their physical needs first and foremost, of course, but all foster children have very complex emotional needs. Each child will be different.

Preparations

Step1:Baby-proof or child-proof your house. This should be done as soon as you are approved.

Step 2: Set up a bedroom room separate from other children, if at all possible. Make sure it is somewhere that can be quiet and calm when the child is in it.

Step 3:Locate and check emergency caregivers or daycare center before you parent a child. Know the specifics of what may be needed (i.e. medical treatments, alternatives for allergies), and be sure the facility or caregiver can accommodate them.

Step 4:Make arrangements to get appropriate car seats, based on the general ages of the children you intend to parent.

Step 5:where you need to go for medical care.

Step 6:Ask your agency for information on Lifebooks. Some agencies will even give you a pre-formatted one for you to fill in. These are usually for birth certificates, social security cards and other vital records.

Step 7:Read books or talk to a child psychiatrist before you agree to foster parent a child to make sure you know how to handle any emotional problems.

Before the Child Arrives

Step 1:Set up an area in the room with children close to their age if you weren't able to create a separate bedroom for the child.

Step 2:Make arrangements with caregivers or a child care center before child arrives. Recheck to be sure they can accommodate all medical treatments or allergy situations before the child arrives.

Step 3:Before you pick up the child or arrange for them to be brought to you, check to see if they need a car seat. If they do, install the car seat. Make sure you have the car seat checked for safety. You can call 1-866-SEAT-CHECK or go to The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration's Website to find a location near you to get your car seat checked.

Step 4:Find out when the child's shots and checkups will be needed, and find out any other medical information you may need. If checkups or shots will be due within a month or less, make arrangements immediately. Doctors are usually booked a month in advance, except for emergencies.

Step 5:Obtain or create a Lifebook for each child before they arrive. Be sure to pass these, as well as baby books, scrapbooks or other records, along to the worker when the child leaves. You should keep a copy. The child may contact you one day, and it will make them feel good to know you have kept reminders of them. These records could also be lost as workers change.