Clever Solutions for Bad Habits

By Charlotte Latvala

At age 4, my son A.J. was completely potty trained. Not that he went to the bathroom willingly, however. He would dance, shuffle, cross his legs, and wait until the last possible second. One Saturday afternoon, we were getting ready to run errands and A.J. was in full procrastination mode, bobbing up and down like a mad cork. I launched into my usual "Time to go to the potty, honey" speech, with no success. Then my husband looked A.J. straight in the eye and said, "I'll give you a dollar if you go to the bathroom right now." A.J. stopped cold. He eyeballed Tony to see if he was for real. My husband started to draw a crisp bill out of his pocket, and A.J. took off.

I was appalled. "You're going to teach him to expect money every time he pees," I said. "Do you know what sort of precedent you're setting here?" Tony just shrugged and said, "Let's see what happens." What happened was this: That dollar was the best money we ever spent. From that day on, A.J. had a new attitude about the bathroom: Why avoid it? You never know what fun you might have! I'm not actually sure I'd use the same tactic again, but I did learn this: Sometimes the ever-evolving process of parenting requires us to toss out the handbook and get creative. Experiment -- sometimes it really pays off!

Mealtime mayhem

Kemi Chavez used to get frustrated when her toddler, Olivia, refused to try healthy foods. "She wouldn't eat broccoli, peaches, beef, or anything with an unusual smell," says Chavez. The Denver mom happened on her solution almost by chance. "One day I just gave up and let her pick her food from my plate. It seemed ridiculous, but it worked." So Olivia was "served" every meal from Mom's plate for months and became a much more adventurous eater. "She even likes Thai food now," says Chavez.

In the preschool years, the dinner table can turn into an absolute war zone -- unnecessarily so. I used to fight epic battles with A.J. about our "no sugary cereal" rule. He had sampled Lucky Charms and Froot Loops at various social events and relentlessly pestered me for them at the grocery store. Finally, I gave in and bought him a box, with one caveat: You can eat it, but only as dessert. (With the added vitamins and minerals, I figured the cereal would be healthier than candy.) In a similar burst of "Why not?" thinking, a friend of mine enticed her preschool-age twins to eat brussels sprouts by bringing the hamster cage over to the table and feeding the vegetable to the furry creature. Fascinated, the kids decided to try what their pet was eating. (It turns out that one of them, now 10, is still a brussels sprouts fan.)

Too many dinnertime rules can also lead to frustration for everyone, and some loosening up rarely hurts. (Face it: Your kids probably won't be dining at a White House state dinner anytime soon, so if their eating habits are a bit eccentric, so be it.) Tammy Burk of Charlottesville, Virginia, got tired of telling her children to sit properly in their seats during dinner. "I made a new rule," she says. "If they don't want to sit down, that's okay. But they have to stand at the table and eat instead of running around." Likewise, Abby Carr of New York City grew increasingly frustrated with her 3-year-old's demands at the table. "Stephen used to bark out orders like 'More juice!'" she says. "So we told him we'd listen only if he used good manners and spoke in a French accent. Now he says, 'Sir, may I puh-leeze have more joooce?'"

Source: Clever Solutions for Bad Habits

Why are some children very stubborn?

You said:why are some children very stubborn?

"..but a adults charactor is built from personal experiance,
enviroment but a child has just come into the world"

Children do not come into the world as blank slates. This we know.
They come equipped with a large part of their personality tendencies.
Preferences for compliance, independence, extroversion or
introversion, and many other behavioral traits are present in infants
from birth.

The term "stubborn" is a term applied to other people when they do not
do as we wish. A better term is independent. See the child through
these eyes, and you'll be encouraged by his/her behavior, rather than
frustrated or angered by it.

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Best of luck --

Stubborn Kids: Bring out their best -- and handle their worst

By Lisa Oppenheimer

From her earliest breaths, my daughter Alexis was a force to be reckoned with. As an infant, she shooed away the cereal spoon; as a toddler, she rebounded from her bed all night long. When she was in preschool, her teachers would tell us that her strong will made her a natural leader.

Stubbornness also often comes with a steadfast ability to focus, and that can boost learning.

We thought of her more as a little dictator. Alexis had figured out the great secret of life: Nobody can force you to do anything you absolutely don't want to do.

Watching her unapologetically go after what she wanted always left me half mortified, half secretly impressed. My eagerness to please has sometimes made me cave when I shouldn't. Yup, that's me, serial yes-woman for every party sales rep who needs a patsy -- er, hostess. But Alexis can stand up for herself, a trait that will serve her well all through life.

Still, raising stubborn kids is tricky. It's up to you to show them they don't rule the world -- without teaching them to be wimps.

Bullheaded by nature?

Some kids seem to be born willful. Alexis certainly was: From Day One, she'd scream her little head off unless we toted her around in a baby carrier. Such resolve often doesn't soften, either. As demanding babies morph into toddlers, the "You can't make me!" factor surfaces. Of course, most kids this age are hardheaded. But what sets the genetically inflexible apart is the ferocity and persistence with which they do battle. Parenting.com: What a personality!

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5 Simple Parenting Tricks That Will Save From Going Mad

Its no new thing seeing a mother with two kids in tow and one sitting in the front of the grocery cart. The two are running down the aisles, grabbing things, all the wrong things - sugary cereals, chocolate bars, potato chips... The cart is overflowing. Mom is yelling things like, "put that back" and "no, you can't have that today" and "please stop running" and finally, "Get over here now!"

If you are like me, a few things cross your mind or memory. You feel a twinge of pain and sympathy when you see her and want to run over and help.

Your are somewhat irritated and can't help wondering why she doesn't leave the kids home when she shops? and lastly, If you are feeling particularly smug, or your children are past the age of no restraint, you may have a moment of memory loss and be saying to yourself, my kids were NEVER like that. I wouldn't bet on it.

So what do you do when you have to take the kids with you on errands and particularly errands that spell danger for you and your kids. It's really pretty simple:

1. Plan it out first - Have a plan for the errands that you have to do regularly. Figure out what you need and the best times for you to do them. Most likely late afternoon when both you and your kids are spent is not the time.

2. Make your grocery stops short -If you have to go twice, do it. Figure out the items you need beforehand so you aren't taking the kids down aisle after aisle looking for things. This is a surefire way to engage yourself in a nightmare.

3. Have a kid's day at the grocery store - Take them to the grocery store and let them choose a few things that they like - they earn that privilege by not acting out during your other errands.

4. Remember to be realistic - Kids have energy and they get bored quickly. It is unrealistic to expect them to have the patience of an adult while you do your errands, especially if they're long and drawn out.

5. Don't make getting all your errands done so important that you can't let them go if your kids are cranky and irritable. You will just put undue stress on yourself and your kids and quite frankly, the errands will take longer to get done.

Although it may seem impossible and believe me, sometimes it really is, if things get out of hand, leave before you have to scream. You may leave without the milk but you will save yourself from a very negative experience.

The Best and Worst Sources For Parenting Advice - The Answers May Surprise You!

By Gareth A Williams

Parenting is a non-stop occupation. You never know when the next question or crisis will arise, so it's a good idea to have some handy resources at the ready.

When we're new parents, the first source we typically call upon is our parents, right? They raised us after all, and we turned out pretty well, didn't we? But when considering the advice you get from your parents, remember that they might not be especially objective. Truth is, you might not be objective about them and their advice either. That, in fact, can make your parents one of the worst potential sources of parenting advice, because both sides are seeing things from what may be a less-than-objective point of view.

Next in line, we typically turn to our best friends and fellow parents, as well as professionals (family doctor, teachers, clergy, etc.). But these may not be the best resources for parenting advice either. Why? Because we may be looking at our relationship with them (especially our best friends) just as we did with our parents. We respect the relationship, or the title in the case of professionals, and, therefore, we may tend to automatically give credence to advice from these sources.

So, instead of automatically seeking and accepting advice from these traditional sources, here's what I suggest doing:

First, when seeking advice on parenting from anyone, examine that person's experience with children as well as with the particular issue on which you're seeking advice.

Next, examine how that person relates to children, interacts with children, communicates with children, and what sort of value system that person has regarding the parenting of children. If it's similar to your own, that's a good foundation.

You might also seek out specialists (therapists, counsellors, etc.) and, if this is the case, you must again apply these same criteria:
- Is the professional/specialist honest, yet tactful with you and your children?
- Is the specialist objective, yet caring?
- Does the specialist have experience as a parent, or with your particular child's issues?

And what about school-related issues? If you take your problem to a teacher or school counsellor, consider that you may be revealing more about your child or your family than you should. While I wouldn't necessarily rule out such discussions or resource professionals, just keep in mind that you don't want to bias a teacher in any way against your.

We all need parenting help and advice at some point. Just remember to do your homework on any source (i.e., consider and weigh the source), and proceed with caution and your own best judgment before leaping to accept any advice.

Gareth Williams has been an expert in the field of parenting for well over 25 years and specializes in providing parents with honest and informative as well as useful tips and tricks on modern day parenting. If you're interested in receiving a complimentary 5 day course that will help solve your main parenting concerns quickly and permanently then please visit: http://www.instantparentsuccess.com/complimentarycourse.htm

7 Parenting Strategies That Can Help Instill Discipline In Your Child

Parents play a key role in making sure that a child knows the distinction between a behavior that is acceptable, and one that is not. Parents are pretty much aware that there is no perfect discipline strategy that can work for all children.

What works for one child may not be effective for another. In order for your discipline strategy to be effective, it may be good to consider your child’s developmental stage.


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Are You Parenting the Right Way?

By Tarley Reed

We, as human beings, love to judge and evaluate everything...absolutely everything, especially ourselves. When looking at how I parent I notice the little voice in my head is constantly evaluating whether I'm doing it right or not.

If you are wondering if you do this, a very fast way to tell is by noticing how much are you judging whether other parents are doing it "right".

We always judge ourselves in the same areas where we are judging others. For example, if you see a screaming child in a store, what is the conversation you are having about them in your head. Is it something like, "Can't they control their child?"(implying they are parenting "wrong") or "What a bad kid, they must be bad parents."(again..they are "wrong") or "That poor mom, boy do I understand."(shows compassion and understanding) The conversation that you have in your head is an indication of the same way you feel about your own parenting.

Here's the thing, there is no right or wrong way to parent. What may work for me, may not work for you. And just because it works for me, does not mean it is the "right way". It just means it is the right way for me.

You want to notice, areas in parenting where you are suffering. It may be around getting your kids to eat, or when they throw temper tantrum in public, or potty training or taking naps. If you are suffering, you have not found the "right way" for you yet. If this is the case, this is where you can do your research to see what has been working for other parents and then implement them.

Once you realize that there is no "right way, there is only my way, your way, her way and his way, none of which is better then the other, there is a freedom that comes with this realization. You can stop judging yourself and others for the way they(or you) have been parenting. This creates freedom.

If you liked what you read, we have 8 other tips on, How To Raise Multiple Young Children Without Stress Or Struggle....No Matter How They Act! You can find them at http://www.ParentsGotKids.com

By the way, the fact that you just read this article should let you know what a fabulous parent you are. You take time to make sure you are doing what is best for your children. Thank you for the difference you make for your kids!!