Which is the Most Important Parenting Skill?

Some people believe that parenting skills are born along with a child - if only that were true! The thought that everything that happens to a baby or child will create the adults they become is daunting, and parents often don't realize the extent of parenting skilsl they are going to require.

So what are the skills that parents need? Well, the most obvious skill is to know about the physical needs of your child. Most people get this right, but there are others with no parenting skill at all whose children become malnourished or sick from poor hygiene. If you need information on this there are plenty of organizations, books and websites that can help you.

Secondly, there is the parenting skill of providing the right amount of discipline for your child. Experts are divided on level and degree of discipline - but the key is consistency and agreement between parents. It is also important not to punish your child physically, and to try and make the punishment appropriate to the offence.

For example if your child won't stop playing his video game to do his chores, removal of the game would be a fair punishment and will teach him the relationship between actions and consequences. Setting clear boundaries for your child and making sure they understand what will happen if they step outside those boundaries is a vital parenting skill.

Thirdly, there is the skill of creating a morally good, complete human being. This is the hardest parenting skill of all because there are less hard facts, less evidence and less right and wrong answers. There are things that the experts agree on, however:

• Showing your child love, approval and respect can give them the basis to do the same.

• Show interest in your child, listen to them, talk to them, and encourage them to share any problems with you. By not listening to a child you are telling them that it is OK to think only of themselves and not care about others.

• Give them behaviour to model. Children copy adults, by showing a good example to your children you are helping them.

• Be aware of what your children are doing. By letting them watch adult movies or play adult games you are saying that those things are OK. Let their activities be age appropriate.

• Spend time as a family. Whatever the make-up of your family, spend some time together, children who spend more time with siblings and parent(s) generally become more family minded themselves.

It doesn't have to be a big chore, family time once or twice a week where everyone does something together is a great start.

All parenting skills are important, and whatever you do with your children, the main things to ask yourself is, "Would I have wanted that to happen to me? Would it have done me good?" The important thing about parenting skill is that if you think you need help, ask for it.

There are many organizations around that are set up purely for that purpose. If you are not happy asking for help then there are books and websites that can give you fantastic advice.

The author is a successful marketing executive in a large consumer good company and a mother of two boys. She has had a rough ride in the past two years and has successfully saved her family from the brink of disaster by working on her parenting style. She has recently built a website [http://www.newparentingstyle.com]http://www.newparentingstyle.com, which touches upon some effective parenting tips that have helped her in her success.