From her earliest breaths, my daughter Alexis was a force to be reckoned with. As an infant, she shooed away the cereal spoon; as a toddler, she rebounded from her bed all night long. When she was in preschool, her teachers would tell us that her strong will made her a natural leader.
Stubbornness also often comes with a steadfast ability to focus, and that can boost learning.
We thought of her more as a little dictator. Alexis had figured out the great secret of life: Nobody can force you to do anything you absolutely don't want to do.
Watching her unapologetically go after what she wanted always left me half mortified, half secretly impressed. My eagerness to please has sometimes made me cave when I shouldn't. Yup, that's me, serial yes-woman for every party sales rep who needs a patsy -- er, hostess. But Alexis can stand up for herself, a trait that will serve her well all through life.
Still, raising stubborn kids is tricky. It's up to you to show them they don't rule the world -- without teaching them to be wimps.
Bullheaded by nature?
Some kids seem to be born willful. Alexis certainly was: From Day One, she'd scream her little head off unless we toted her around in a baby carrier. Such resolve often doesn't soften, either. As demanding babies morph into toddlers, the "You can't make me!" factor surfaces. Of course, most kids this age are hardheaded. But what sets the genetically inflexible apart is the ferocity and persistence with which they do battle. Parenting.com: What a personality!
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